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12 Non-Resolutions for New Year's

Since I never keep my New Year's resolutions, this year I'm making non-resolutions.
1.Gain 15 pounds
2.Lose my job
3.Get banned from Twitter
4.Work on something non important
5.Get a salary cut
6.Eat at least a pound of chocolate each day
7.Don't exercise for 365 days straight
8.Be miserable
9.Accumulate at least 5 new bad habits
10.Quit at anything that is difficult
11.Make excuses to get out of everything
12.Accumulate as much junk as possible
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